Supporting Your Teen Through Exams and Beyond

The big day is here and and you are now navigating GCSE results day. After months, or even years, of revision and hard work, thousands of young people across the UK are receiving their GCSE results. For many, this moment is a cause for celebration. Yet, for others, it can bring a mix of emotions, from disappointment to anxiety. As a parent, your reaction today is incredibly important. The way you respond in these first few hours can significantly influence your child’s self-esteem and future resilience.

A leading child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Joanna Torrence, emphasises this point. She notes that while exam grades feel like the ultimate measure of a student’s ability, they are just one small part of a much bigger picture. The crucial takeaway, according to Dr. Torrence, is that how parents react today can shape how a child perceives success and failure for years to come.

This article, written for parents, aims to offer some practical advice on how to navigate this day with empathy and understanding. We will explore how to manage your own feelings, support your child, and focus on their long-term well-being.

Your First Reaction Matters: What to Do and What to Avoid

It can be difficult to manage your own emotions when you see your child upset or disappointed. It’s a natural instinct to want to fix everything. However, the best approach is to take a breath and think about what your child needs from you in that moment.

The Dos. Be a Source of Calm and Support

1. Listen First.

Before you start navigating GCSE results day and say anything, let your child speak. Give them space to share how they feel. They might be relieved, excited, or heartbroken. Whatever their emotion, simply listening without immediate judgment or advice is a powerful form of support. It shows that you respect their feelings and their experience. It’s their journey, and they need to own it.

2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just the Outcome.

Regardless of the grades received, your child put in a huge amount of effort to get to this point. They likely spent countless hours revising. They probably had to deal with stress and pressure. Acknowledge this hard work. Say something like, “I am so proud of how hard you worked for these exams.” This simple act can reframe their perspective. It teaches them that their value is not solely based on a result. It’s about perseverance and dedication.

3. Explore Next Steps Together.

The end of GCSEs is not the end of the road. It’s a transition to the next phase. Whether the results are what your teen hoped for or not, there are always options. Sit down with them and explore what those options are. It might be sixth form, a college course, an apprenticeship, or even resitting a few subjects. Focus on the possibilities and create a plan of action together. This helps your child feel in control of their future.

4. Normalise Setbacks.

Remember when navigating GCSE results day that everyone faces setbacks in life. Your child will experience many more throughout their adulthood. Use this opportunity to normalise this. Share your own stories of when you didn’t get what you wanted or expected. Talk about how you bounced back. This shows them that failure isn’t a dead end. It’s a learning experience. It gives them hope and confidence to face future challenges.

The Don’ts. Pitfalls to Avoid on Results Day

1. Avoid Comparisons.

Every child is unique. Their strengths, abilities, and academic paths are their own. Comparing their results to a sibling, a friend, or even to your own results from years ago is unhelpful and damaging. It can make them feel inadequate and can erode their self-esteem. Your child needs to know they are valued for who they are, not how they measure up to others.

2. Don’t Catastrophise.

It’s easy to jump to the worst-case scenario. A low grade in one subject might feel like the end of the world. But it isn’t. Remember, one exam result does not define a person’s future. Keep a calm and balanced perspective. Remind your child that there are many different paths to success. A low grade can often be remedied, and sometimes, a different route leads to an even better outcome.

3. Don’t Take Control.

It’s tempting to want to step in and fix things immediately. You might be tempted to call the college or the school on your child’s behalf. However, this is their journey. They need to learn how to navigate these situations themselves. Be a guide, not a dictator. Offer advice, but let them take the lead on making the decisions about their next steps. This empowers them and builds their confidence in their own abilities.

4. Don’t Pressure with Immediate Decisions.

The day can feel rushed, especially if a plan needs to be changed. However, it’s essential to allow your child time to process their emotions and the results. Don’t rush them into making a big decision about their future right away. A little bit of reflection time can lead to a more considered and better outcome. Give them space and reassurance that they can explore the options in the coming days.

Focusing on the Bigger Picture while navigating GCSE results day

Teenagers today are under immense pressure. The expectations they face from social media, from their peers, and from themselves can be overwhelming. As parents, it’s vital to help them see beyond the grades.

GCSEs are a part of their educational journey, but they don’t define their worth. What truly matters in the long run are qualities like resilience, problem-solving, and emotional well-being. Your role as a parent is to help your child develop these skills. Remind them of all their other strengths. Perhaps they are a wonderful friend, a talented artist, or a brilliant problem-solver in other areas of their life. These skills are just as important as any exam grade.

Ultimately, results day is just one day. The lessons your child learns from it—about resilience, about how to handle disappointment, and about their own self-worth—will stay with them for a lifetime. By providing calm, loving, and non-judgmental support, you can help them turn today’s experience into a powerful lesson in growing up.

Professional Support is Available

If your child is struggling with their results or if you are concerned about their emotional well-being, remember that professional help is available. Talking to a counsellor or a psychologist can provide a safe space for your teen to express their feelings and to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Don’t hesitate to seek out support if you feel it’s needed.

Photo by Ben Mullins on Unsplash