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Living with boys

One day I will go to the toilet and it wont have wee on the seat. At this point in time I honestly don’t know when that day will come. But it will.

It appears that boys, in particular my two boys will not put the seat up to wee. We like the seat down because we have a young lady living with us. Plus, sometimes we receive female visitors.

This whole wee gate situation has became very common of late, with lots of discriminating evidence being left at the scene. I have asked them, told them even, but no, they still seem to either ‘forget’ or deny.

I have discovered that it isn’t just them, being the nice modern (and super cool) Dad that I am, I have allowed them to make friends with other (just as feral) children and in turn they too haven’t mastered the seat up to wee trick yet. 

Im not too sure what is worse, discovering the mess or not noticing until its too late and you have sat down. There is something odd about the feeling of someone else’s urine dripping down your own leg. I know they are my kids and I know I love them, but I don’t want their wee anywhere on my naked flesh. I had enough of that when they were still in nappies and why doesn’t anyone warn you about that? 

Dad’s delicious dinners top tip for newborn boys.

ANY PARENTS TO NEW BORN BOYS, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND DUCK WHEN YOU CHANGE THEIR NAPPY.

You can thank me for that one another time.

Back to the case in point. In all honesty I don’t think this will change, it doesn’t mater how much I talk to them, remind them, explain to them, show them how to use toilet paper to wipe their own mess up or even if I placed a nice, easy to follow pictorial guide on the wall in the bathroom, I honestly don’t think it will change. So for now, the little lady will have to suck it up. I just hope she is not mentally scared for life. 

On the topic of the Little Lady, don’t even get me started on her new trick of joining me in the bathroom, whilst I’m on the loo, gathering my thoughts, enjoying the only peaceful place left in the house, playing on my phone and pondering where my life actually is right now. Not only just she join me, she proceeds to hover over the bath in some weird crab like position and wee into the bath, before making her excuses and leaving. In turn leaving me googling ‘how to cure feral children’.

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